Night moppin'

This kind establishment has holed me up for the moment. In the grips of my insomnia.

The "night guy" is overly nice seeing as there's only one other person in the place, one who assuredly works here and is staying perhaps to oversee changing of the guards -? Night guy has buddy holly-ish glasses and points out the milky pieces in the brew he has just poured me, but I wave it away and tell him I'll let him know if it bothers me. He asks me what I'm working on. What am I working on? This answer is difficult, more difficult than it needs to be, and I immediately feel awkward and useless. He points me to the long, windowless back room to save me from his mopping of the main coffee-partaking area.

It's comical to be sitting in such a cabin-like setting at 5am when I haven't made the trek outside of the city and when punk music blares through the speakers. So much wood. Murals of beavers and deer and logs. Didn't I like this theme when I first patronized this place? I can't remember. I left the confines of my fluorescent-lit kitchen of debauchery (someone else's debauchery, from the 80s, no doubt) only to sit here in the overly-lit fluorescent bomb shelter of a space. Sigh.

Having a dog really fucks up my life. As if my thinking-innards weren't already spiraling down an antisocial, existential pee hole already, now whenever I am anywhere besides my home, I think, I could be cuddling with dog right now. Wet motherfucking snoopy nose action lying on my thigh, glassy, uber sweet essence of life dopey eyes staring back at me with love and a twinge of need. Granted, most people find that gaze in drugs, alcohol, and desperate sloshed suitors at bars and the like. But still.

Lunch yesterday

I just have to write about my lunch yesterday. Maybe I was there on a "bad day" because my lobster roll didn't look half as good as any pics I've seen on yelp and was THIRTEEN buckers. It was cold, bland, and on an untoasted boring bun. It came with no sides. Here are the details:

Went out for a coworker's birthday to this new site for food trucks. There were, however, only two offerings available: The Seedling truck and Dock n Roll.

I've had a salad at the Seedling truck when it was over at the east side farmer's market and it was okay. My s.o. had the quail from them and said it was just okay as well. So, my coworker, who was nice enough to drive me over, and I decided to splurge on the Main Event sandwich from Dock N Roll.

The line was long, in direct 100 degree sun, but the guy at the window was nice enough. I asked for my sandwich to go and it came in a basket just like everyone else's. I thought, "I probably won't eat all of my sandwich this afternoon!" --> WRONG.

I get that lobster is more expensive than, say chicken. Particularly in Central Texas. BUT we are already paying $13!! For that we get a tiny sub bun about half the size of my cowrkers' buns (lol) who got pork and chicken sandwiches. Also, the pork (Vietnamese) sandwich had all sorts of lovely slaw on top. My lobster roll? NOTHING. Just cold lobster salad on a non-toasted blah bun. And lemon and mayo? I see you not, I taste you not. AT ALL.

To add insult to injury, my coworker got the Lobster mac 'n' cheese and paid $3 extra (or 2.50? not sure) for bacon, corn, and tater tots. I personally am not into that whole catastrophe but if you want that nonsense, you should get it! There were no signs of tater tots, truly, and a tiny bit of bacon and a few kernels of corn. When people don't want to finish mac 'n' cheese, you know it's not great.

She went up and said she didn't see any tots on the mac and the man just stared at her. Rude! So my other coworker went up and asked about it only to be *assured* (he said rudely) by the cook that the tots were BLENDED into the mac. Blended? Wtf? I could understand if the taters were sort of crushed up and crispy and sprinkled in, but blended, really? Why anyone would blend potatoes into the non-visible netherworld is beyond me. Buffing up on calories, perhaps? The coworker in question said as we were exiting the truck area "that's how I get the kids to eat their veggies, by blending it in other foods." My thoughts exactly.

Not cool. And kinda rude.

I don't have pics cuz it's weird to take pics of your coworkers food, so here's one from yelp.

Gay Paree

I am very excited to be going to Paris and Amsterdam in November.

I studied in the South of France during college and traveled to Paris to get there. My recollection of my day in Paris was running into my first Parisian on the street - a haute couture type of guy. Svelt, well-dressed, and kind of smily when he realized I was a lost and displaced young American. I think he gave me directions.

Also, I remember being totally overwhelmed at the Louvre (despite having been to many big international museums and later in life working at the Guggenheim). There was just too much to see. I remember stopping for a beverage at the cafe inside the museum (probably an Orangina; I was a bit Orangina obsessed that summer) and people watching. And calling my mother from a payphone I could barely operate. But then, I've called my mother from various payphones, both sketchy and funky, at various locales at various points in my life (9/11 being a memorable one; I called her from a payphone down the hall in a roach infested efficiency weekly "hotel" I was living in in San Francisco...it will be weird not calling her anymore, but she's in my heart always).

Right after I left the Louvre, the new "chic" shoes I bought for the trip quickly disintegrating, leaving my feet actually BLEEDING. So my biggest memory of Paris is eschewing blood on its sidewalks. Good times.

More to come...

Why are there so many awful people?

I'm not talking about your violent, hateful, ghastly offenders. (That's another rant)

I'm talking about your everyday, go-about-their-business, snooty, self-absorbed, vitriolic, nitpicky, smarmy types.
I know there are a lot of people on the planet, but does that give one person the right to shoot venom at every person they deem "invaluable"? Aren't we all mortal, singular souls who are at the very least supposed to be getting along if not unifying on some level?

No, this isn't one person or one incident I'm referring to. It's worse. It's thousands of tiny incidents I see every day.

I'm not claiming to be without reproof. I am far from perfect.

But at what point can we all claim our humanity and treat each other with kindness? Our "social norms" are separating us more and more.

love

Happy Birthday, Mom. I miss you.

Learning a new word today

I had not heard this before (or if I did, I didn't know what it referred to):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender

Cisgender From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cisgender and cissexual describe related types of gender identity where an individual's self-perception of their gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth.[1] Kristen Schilt and Laurel Westbrook define cisgender as a label for "individuals who have a match between the gender they were assigned at birth, their bodies, and their personal identity," complementing transgender.[

MeLuna!

Yay! Why has it taken me this long to purchase a menstrual cup? I'm excited. More to come on this topic.

Hipsterific

More food posts ;) - I will add my own photos when I make these

Gluten Free Vegan Samosas!
The Filling:

2 large potatoes

1 tablespoon butter

1 cup finely minced onion

2 medium cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger

1 teaspoon mustard seeds

1 teaspoon dried coriander

3/4 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups uncooked green peas (frozen, thawed = fine)

2 tablespoons lemon juice

Cayenne, to taste

4-6 Tortillas (spelt, rice... whatever you can tolerate)

Chutney, raita or other sauce to dollop on top

Peel the potatoes and chop them into 1-inch pieces. Place in a saucepan, cover with water, and boil until very soft. Drain and transfer to a medium-sized bowl. Mash and set aside.

Melt the butter in a heavy skillet. Add onion, garlic, ginger, mustard seeds, coriander, and salt. Saute over medium heat about 8 to 10 minutes, or until onions are quite soft. Add this to the mashed potatoes, along with the remaining ingredients. Mix well, but try not to smash the peas. Cool for at least 15 minutes before filling the pastries.

Heat a skillet over medium heat with a tablespoon or so of oil. While the oil is heating, take a tortilla and place 1/4 - 1/2 cup of potato mixture onto the bottom half of the tortilla. Fold over the top half of the tortilla and place in heated skillet. Cook on each side 3-5 minutes or until golden brown. Repeat until you run out of potato filling.
Soooo tasty!!

Black bean veggie burger

serves 2

Ingredients:

3 cloves garlic

3 cherry tomatoes

1/2 carrot, shredded (use the other half to saute for the topping)

1/8 cup of chives

1/2 onion, sautéed

1 can of black beans (14 oz), drained

2 tsp flax with 4 tbsp of water (egg replacer)

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp chili powder

1 tsp herbs de Provence

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup all-purpose gf flour

Yum

Tried the parfait recipe on Soy Free Vegan:

It was really satisfying. It contains agave nectar which I have heard is "bad" but it was better than eating a tub of ice cream. Lol.

I used a crappy old bullet blender and too little chocolate but it was still quite delicious and very filling. It's amazing how creamy avocados and soaked raw cashews can get. Mmm.
More things I'd like to try in the near future:

Vegan Cheese That's Actually Good (not a fan of Daiya- but this is a good article)

Vegan Pizza Monkey Bread! (--I'd like to use another type of flour though - hmm)

I also cooked some pasta last night that was made from Quinoa, Amaranth, and Brown Rice. Sounds horrid, right? But it was good! Finally, a decent-tasting pasta alternative! And it didn't make me feel heavy and inflamed after. Amazingness.

I just added some marinara sauce, sauteed onions, and lots of garlic and spices. The brand of pasta was "tru-Roots" and I can firmly recommend it. A lot of the others are crap. There, I've said it. :P

Beating the beast

Feeling good this Monday. Still a bit sick but spirits are high.
I love food sites lately and this dessert sounds great. I've actually tried this type of mousse but I might make it again and make it this pretty. :)

This show, A Certain Reality, looks interesting.
David Ball, Jennifer Davis & Megan Kimber opening reception: friday, february 22, 7-10pm exhibition dates: february 22 – march 30, 2013
grayDUCK is located in the eclectic heart of South Austin on Monroe and South 1st Street in the Bouldin Creek neighborhood.

There is one consolation in being sick; and that is the possibility that you may recover to a better state than you were ever in before. Henry David Thoreau

Being sick sucks. We all know that.

From Web MD:

No. 1: Blow Your Nose Often -- and the Right Way
It's important to blow your nose regularly when you have a cold rather than sniffling mucus back into your head. But when you blow hard, pressure can cause an earache. The best way to blow your nose: Press a finger over one nostril while you blow gently to clear the other. Wash your hands after blowing your nose.
No. 2: Stay Rested
Resting when you first come down with a cold or the flu helps your body direct its energy toward the immune battle. This battle taxes the body. So give it a little help by lying down under a blanket.
No. 3: Gargle
Gargling can moisten a sore throat and bring temporary relief. Try a teaspoon of salt dissolved in warm water, four times daily. To reduce the tickle in your throat, try an astringent gargle -- such as tea that contains tannin -- to tighten the membranes. Or use a thick, viscous gargle made with honey or a mixture of honey and apple cider vinegar, a popular folk remedy. Steep one tablespoon of raspberry leaves or lemon juice in two cups of hot water and mix in one teaspoon of honey. Let the mixture cool to room temperature before gargling. Honey should never be given to children less than 1 year old.
No. 4: Drink Hot Liquids
Hot liquids relieve nasal congestion, help prevent dehydration, and soothe the uncomfortably inflamed membranes that line your nose and throat. No. 5: Take a Steamy Shower Steamy showers moisturize your nasal passages and relax you. If you're dizzy from the flu, run a steamy shower while you sit on a chair nearby and take a sponge bath. No. 6: Apply Hot or Cold Packs Around Your Congested Sinuses Either temperature may help you feel more comfortable. You can buy reusable hot or cold packs at a drugstore. Or make your own. Take a damp washcloth and heat it for 55 seconds in a microwave (test the temperature first to make sure it's not scalding). Or take a small bag of frozen peas to use as a cold pack.
No. 7: Sleep With an Extra Pillow Under Your Head
This will help with the drainage of nasal passages. If the angle is too awkward, try placing the pillows between the mattress and the box springs to create a more gradual slope.
No. 8: Don't Fly Unless Necessary
There's no point adding stress to your already stressed-out upper respiratory system, and that's what the change in air pressure will do. Flying with cold or flu congestion can hurt your eardrums as a result of pressure changes during takeoff and landing. If you must fly, use a decongestant and carry a nasal spray with you to use just before takeoff and landing. Chewing gum and swallowing frequently can also help relieve pressure.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. Mitch Hedberg

Omg, this cereal is so good. Lol.

Anyway, I've noticed the lineup for this year's Mountain Jam and I'd love to see Primus. Otherwise, meh.
My s.o. and I had an awesome time two festivals ago, I believe. It wasn't quite as rowdy and creative as I'd hoped but the music was fun. Michael Franti was an amazing highlight and really got the energy up! Unfortunately, I hadn't seen him perform until a few years ago but had always heard about him. At least I've gotten the chance to see him a few times in the last few years --> he is such a lively performer. Is he not going to be at Mountain Jam at all this year? How sad.
Ooo, he's playing the Old Settler's Music Festival here in Austin in April. Might have to check that out.

Hanging out at Genuine Joe's and having some decaf. A drink I rarely drink in a hood I'm rarely in. It's a nice change. I went to a knitting club in a side room here (this cafe is in a house, really, with little side rooms) and the women were really nice. I did feel, however, that just like a date there was no "spark" and since it's also quite far for me, I never went back. Hmm, wonder what those ladies are knitting these days. As for myself, I'm an embroiderer mostly, just like my grandmother. It's meditative and has been therapeutic for the last couple of years.
Have you ever noticed that when you try to make changes there's always a lil residual "old stuff" that comes out, even when you thought you had fully transitioned through to the new change? Yeah, that's what I'm experiencing now. Fighting, old patterns, habits, etc. have come out of my ever-persevering struggle to change and move forward. Sigh, keep pushing.
In other news, I will take photos of our condo's transformation (lots of transformations going on in Casa Caiano) from skanky cement floor to fabulously lustrous wood floor. We did the spare bedroom and it looks great. We had a lot of gaps though and have to be much more careful with the living room. This flooring is relatively inexpensive and easy to install yourself, if slightly annoying and tedious.

Mmm

cauliflower crust pizza { veggie version }

adapted from The Happy Go Lucky Vegan makes approx. two 8-inch pizzas INGREDIENTS: 2 cups ground raw cauliflower flourettes (about 1 small head) 3/4 cup almond flour 3 eggs (or you could try flax eggs if vegan) pinches of salt a few grinds of pepper 1/2 teaspoon onion powder (optional) 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (optional) 2-3 tablespoons nutritional yeast (optional)

whatever pizza toppings you like, I used kale pesto, roasted tomatoes, sauteed broccolini, pine nuts, and a drizzle of balsamic.
METHOD: Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Chop cauliflower and pulse flourettes in a food processor. Be careful not to puree it or grind it until it’s mushy. You’re going for a “riced” fluffy consistency. It should not be sticking together at this point.
Whisk 3 eggs and mix all of the rest of the crust ingredients together and form into a ball. It should be pretty wet but If it’s too sticky to handle add more flour. Gently knead it a few times, adding some flour on top if necessary to help it come together. (note – this will NOT resemble regular pizza dough – it won’t be as easy or pliable to work with – that’s ok).
Press “dough” ball down onto a pizza stone or baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Gently mold into a circle, dusting a bit more flour if it makes it easier for you to work with. I was able to lift mine up and flip it over a few times to get it to spread (if yours sticks and you can’t lift it off the pan, it’s still ok). Try to spread it to be a little less than 1/4 inch thick.
Crust needs to be baked for 25-30 minutes total. Since I was topping mine with pesto I baked the crust by itself entirely and added the toppings at the end. I sauteed the broccoli and roasted the tomatoes separately from the crust. If you’re making a pizza with cheese or tomato sauce, bake crust for approx. 15 minutes, then top with sauce and other toppings and bake for 10-15 minutes more. (oven times may vary depending on your oven or consistency of your “dough”).

Things I'd Like to Try

Event Details
SATURDAY AND SUNDAY BRUNCH $1.00 Mimosas and Frozen Bellinis 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. with purchase of entrée Complimentary parking until 5pm at City Hall

Tito's Bloody Mary Bar Every Saturday at Taverna Austin during brunch Starting Saturday, November 28th Tito's Bloody Marys will be discounted to $7 Plus we'll offer various mixers, rims and garnishes.

Brunch Menu Poster Saturday Brunch 9am to 3pm: $1 Mimosas and Bellinis

Ladies Rock Camp

Ladies Rock Camp is much like the Girls Rock Camp it benefits: instrument instruction, parties, workshops, and a rock-star finale at a local club. Brush up on your rock kicks, and help the younger set brush up on their confidence and self-image. No experience necessary. Register online. Sat., Feb. 19 - Mon., Feb. 21, Sat.-Mon., Feb. 19-21 (2011). $300.

The Khabele School, 801 Rio Grande, 480-8142
www.girlsrockcampaustin.org

Austin Table Tennis Club

is Austin's premier table tennis facility featuring 16 tables, wi-fi, a weight room, a lounge, and much more.

Austin Table Tennis Club, 8956 Research Blvd. 512/491-7664 www.austintabletennis.com

Poo Poo Platter: Post Apoopcalypse

Another installation of Austin's favorite poo-flingers, hosted by Arcie and Lady Gackle, plus das Poo Poo Players: Bulimianne Rhapsody, Merci Killingspree, Kitty Buick, La Horrorchata and Cherry Pepsi (from Brooklyn), and Anna Borschins (Houston). Come dressed to poop for Annie DePressant's costume contest and DJs Mouthfeel and Dren Pasht will have you hoofin' like constipated chickens. Fri., Jan. 11, 10pm (2013). $3.

Elysium, 705 Red River, 512/478-2979 www.elysiumonline.net

What does one do in a depression?

Well, for this little cycle (it comes and goes in waves) I watched "cheeky" shows like this one: Take Me Out UK
Let me tell you, I love dating shows for some reason. Always have. Blind Date, yes. Love Connection, absolutely. (Recently had a Chuck Woolery spotting in Austin, TX and I was starstruck!)
Furthermore, I knew that we stole a lot of shows from the UK. I knew that. I mean, The Office, Queer as Folk, Skins and more off the top of my head. But I didn't know we stole so damned much!! Come on, America, what's up? Do we not have any innovative thinkers here? Sure, we have some good shows now and then, but a lot of our fun shows seem to come from across the pond. Know what I mean?
So when I discovered that Take Me Out, my new favorite dating show from last season, was on in the UK, I was hooked. Now, technically of course, this show was adapted from Taken Out, an Australian show taking place in Melbourne. So I guess my rambling is moot on this one. But still, overall, the US stole another show.
I've also been into this show: Dating in the Dark
Admittedly, when I watched Dating in the Dark in the US, I thought it was stupid at forst. But sometimes it's the dumb things that hook you if you let them. Again, I'm not sure if this show originated in the UK or in Australia. I suppose both of those countries are just pretty awesome. I mean, the grass is always greener, but they certainly seem more fun in general. I guess I've just been too steeped in US politics and economy lately, and lack of civil rights for everyone and blah blah. It's draining. Lastly, my friends, you might wonder why I'm not more embarrassed by admitting to watching these shows. Firstly, what the hell do you do in a depressive fog?? At least I'm not shooting up. Second, people watch crap so much in this country it makes me squirm everytime I turn on basic cable (and nevermind all those other channels I don't get - that's a shame spiral right there). I am not a tv snob in everyday life, but I try not to watch most basic cable stuff. Lastly, watching those youngin's strut around (in Take Me Out for instance) and be silly and flirty and cheeky really takes me out of my own muck. It's as simple as that. What takes you out of your own muck?? Feel free to comment...(be nice to me)...

New Year, New Everything...I'll Try

Yes, it's a new year, everyone. I know people have infinitely worse problems and issues than me, but I've been dealing with loss and grief, identity crises, and depression. The latter hasn't gotten severe but close. So I will try to write some interesting posts and maybe some posts filled with things that help me through. I see all of the art in the world; I just don't see the possibilities. I think that's part of a depressive state. I also want to make it clear that I refuse to take medication at this point. I am not pulling a Tom Cruise, ladies and gents, because I do believe in taking what you need to take to function. I have seen many cases in which medication was absolutely necessary, some in my own family. But for now, for me, I abstain. I think that getting healthier physically (for sure) and mentally will do the trick. I just need a kick in the butt to start, really. And that's the HARDEST part. Finally, for now, I hate cheesy articles about depression that say "get more sunshine" and "laugh more" but this article did actually address a lot of the things I'm struggling with.
*For example, I forced myself out to this outdoor coffee shop type place. See the photo. Me trying to look chipper.* Have a wonderful day, everyone...